Picking Battles and Breaking Out of Routine

Monday blues,I can't wait for semester break seriously looking foward to June and fly back to Borneo chilling, the beaches and a good company that's all I need now.I've been incredibly unhealthy lately addition my pms has put me into a depression mode and a sudden of craving for sweet treats! With what I eat, how I sleep, and what I watch/listen to has put far too many toxins in my body and in my life. I have to stop being lazy too and do more outdoor activities work out perhaps? yes I'm flabby and chubby oh Joy! I'm making small life changes to cleanse all of the life toxins out and make my health and my life a little less cluttered and a little more stress free!!
        Have a good week ! x

everything will be okay

 

I'm doing much better than before after a week of heartbreak this heart is finally heal and right now It doesn't even matter to me anymore or maybe a little bit? I have never felt so alone in a crowd of people, but I will be okay.I feel myself losing so much faith in the human race also remembering being so forgiving ,so naive , and so trusting of every person I came in contact with. There's the time when I find myself meeting people and immediately assuming that everything they said are lies, I meet people and shortly after start withdrawing myself from them in fear that they'll leave first if I do not. I'm finding that more people than I would have ever imagined are fake and vindictive.I honestly and truly don't know who I can trust any more. I find it harder and harder to actually desire to put effort into any sort of a relationship with another person anymore. I just don't want to deal with the hurt it's only ever inevitably to cause me.

When I don't get facts directly, I make facts up in my head

I can be one of the rudest, most hateful people on the face of this earth. I can store up anger like you wouldn't believe and let it explode.It's funny how hard I have to try when writing things to people to not let foul language slips in the sentence. My human mind can display some of the most terrible things inside,I must admit I'm only human. Inside I carry thoughts,just as evil as those of murderers and thieves and the lowest of sinners in this world.I literally have this sunken feeling in the pit of my stomach realising exactly how lonely I am.

I'm so messed up.

life flows

Feeling so relieve and happy that finally my service & kitchen exams are officially over, no celebration who might knows that I may fail or finger crossed I'll pass I swear this two classes I'm not willing to repeat.  Final exam for 2nd semester is next month I'll better be prepare for that.

At this moment, I can't say I don't know what's wrong with me,because I suppose I do know.
Seriously, this happy face it's just a mask when I know I'm feeling lost & confused. And all of the people  so recently hurting me is really getting to me, for somebody as social and loving as I am, it feels like I have the worst luck in that very department. I don't know why hurting me comes so easily for so many people that walk in my life, but it does. I wish it didn't affect me as much as it does, somehow being heartless sounds good to me I wouldn't be more careless. Can I just shrug it off and go about my life as if they don't even matter.I just want to sleep now and be happy.

Hello young loves,

Where should I begin? I will never be good in introduction let's make it easy 'A' good hello to my dear reader's. I have finally decided to ditch the previous blog which I have been keeping it for about a more than a year and create a new one so call a "frest start".
This is normal and unexpected for the one that feels unfortunate at the time. The hard part is recovering from this short term of crush you had, a small time dream that this will last longer and move on, Go after something else better not for them but yourself. There is meaning the phrase "Everything Happens For A Reason" So the next time someone tells you this, say "Hell Yeah,You're Right!"